Pumpkin – my favorite flavor, my favorite décor, my favorite season and apparently my favorite Match.com profile name. WHAT? Yup, that’s what my friends thought too. And I’ve been called Pumpkin ever since….
It all started so innocently. A lonely young girl creating a match.com profile, having a hard time finding a unique name that didn’t give away her identity (this was around 2005 people, no one gave away their identity). It was Fall and pumpkins were on her mind. So she naively chose Pumpkin, the perfect name! But it was already taken so she went with Pumpkin2424 (her favorite everything followed by the day of her birthday…twice). Obviously, it all made so much sense at the time!
For weeks all she could think was why oh why can’t I get a decent guy to wink at me! Sad, discouraged and ready to buy 100 cats (not really, I have an irrational fear of cats which is a story for another time), she went to one of her bff’s apartments and over wine they agreed they’d review the profile together. “There must be a fatal flaw” her friend who had had so much success online dating advised. So she signed in, took a big gulp and passed the computer to her friend for review. And immediately she hears “FOUND IT!!!”.
BFF: “PUMPKIN???? Really, PUMPKIN????”
Me: “What??? I love pumpkins!”
BFF: “Maggie, it’s a stripper name!!! And totally lame, no wonder no one is winking at you.”
Both of us: Laugh, laugh, laugh, cry, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh
That night we had dinner plans with our other 13 best friends so guess what story was told over and over and over? And on that infamous night we took this picture:
Doesn’t that crew neck top just scream sultry, scandalous stripper???
To this day every time I say something even somewhat unsuspecting, either in person or in my head, I hear a group of voices going “Oh Pumpkin” followed by uncontrollable laughter.